The Communities of New Skete

Scripture Reading: Is 41: 8-13; Gal 1:11-24; Lk 8:41-56

Reflections from a Monk

Many of you know that my mother, Erla Dorr, passed away last Wednesday. We will have a memorial service for her this Wednesday at 5 pm. Please forgive me if what you hear today may seem more appropriate for the memorial service.

“I grasp you by the right hand…do not be afraid, I shall help you” (Is 41:13). That assurance from God, conveyed to us by the prophet Isaiah, could easily be said at the bedside of someone who is sick or dying. How comforting those words can be in times of stress and uncertainty – if we believe them. Yet often when we are afraid in the midst of a crisis we can feel abandoned and believe that the hand of God is nowhere to be found.

In today’s gospel, we witness Jesus healing the woman with the issue of blood and raising Jairus’ daughter to life. It is so easy to hear these stories and cut them off from the larger reality of life and death. The gospels give us many examples of Jesus healing and restoring life, and yet, every person Jesus healed or brought back to life, ultimately died. If we ponder healing in the context of human mortality, we can begin to understand that healing is about helping us live, not about avoiding death: Helping us live even as we die.

Over the last two months I was absorbed by the reality that my mother was in the process of dying from pancreatic cancer. Of course, this follows only a few months after the community’s experience of Sr. Katrina dying from the same disease. How does one place the death of a loved one into the framework of today’s gospel lesson? And what is Isaiah telling us about God’s active presence in our lives?

In my mother’s case, the doctors said that the cancer could not be cured. They could possibly extend her life through various intrusive and surgical procedures, but the ultimate outcome would be the same. The cancer, directly or indirectly, would cause her death. She elected to let nature take its course. Where was the hand of God in all this? The hand of God is often very active, we just don’t recognize it or we may choose to explain various events and circumstances in other ways.

In the summer of 2007, when my mother and sister came out from California to visit, and scout out places for Mom to live in this area, I was not convinced that anything would come of it. Would a 90 year old lady really choose to uproot herself and move all the way across the country, leaving sunny southern California to live in cloudy upstate New York? Well she did! She claimed she knew all about this weather, after all, she grew up in Nebraska and Oklahoma! Did she know that she had only a little more than a year to live? When you are in your nineties, you are never sure if you have even 24 hours to live. But she wanted to experience the four seasons again, she said she loved all the green trees and mountains and she wanted to be near New Skete, her son and her friends at the Companions. It all seemed crazy to me. But Mom – and God – had other ideas.

She made the move in September 2007, she was 91 at the time. It took her a while to set up her apartment, and so, my weekly visit began. She had to get a bed and some furniture for her apartment and a driver’s license! Now, that I was worried about. She did not want to lose her independence, but she learned, after getting lost and needing help to get home, that she wasn’t going to master driving in this area. She would have to rely on others to get around town and to bring her to church at New Skete. So, God and NY State let her learn that lesson herself, and as a result, she made new friends, especially Pat Brereton and Marina, and also Evan Tublitz.

She constantly struggled to find ways to move closer to Cambridge, nothing ever worked out. But again, she met Sheila Rider and learned more about Cambridge. She often said she had no friends at her new home in Saratoga Springs, however, when I visited her I noticed that many people knew her! On my visits I usually combined running errands for her with running errands for the monastery. We did this together. I would apologize to her for all this running around but she would usually say, “I’m just happy to be with you,” no matter what we did. God was telling me through her that presence (that is being in someone’s presence) was much more important than giving presents. A reminder for this Christmas Season. In other words, giving of ourselves is the greatest gift of all. Was God active in all this? I believe so. Mom thought that she could be independent and learn to get around on her own as she did in California, but she couldn’t. Her plan was frustrated, but maybe God’s plan wasn’t.

Last month, when my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Sr. Melanie immediately said she wanted Mom to come and live with them. She couldn’t bear the idea of Mom being alone at this time. Of course we needed to set up hospice care and other help for her, but that was the easy part, after the invitation was made. On mother’s recent visits to New Skete, before moving here, she and Susie would stay at the Companions. When the time came to return to California Mom would joke that she was going to hide behind the couch so no one would notice and that way she could stay. She said she felt as if New Skete was her family, since in her view she never had a family. Of course she had Dad and two children, but she was referring to her childhood in a broken home where her mother left and her father ultimately forgot about her. Family was where people cared about you. She found that here. So when a 90 year old made a decision to come here, against all the rational odds, she may well have been guided by God. When her illness struck, I realized that I could never have been able to go to California and spend two months there as my Sister was able to do by coming here. Also, I told Mom that by her moving here I had the opportunity to spend more time with her in a little over a year than I had been able to do in the last 38 years. I got to know her again, after all that time. Did she alone want that? Did someone else?

She ultimately got to live for a while in Emmaus House. Her dream came true at the end of her life. She had the loving attention of the Companions, attentive visits from the community members, workers, hospice and Caring Hands nurses, chapel community members, and even our canine family! She made her last journey cared for and accompanied by the loving embrace of many people who only came to know her over the last 12 months. On Wednesday evening, Br. Marc came down to Emmaus House to anoint Mom, and only minutes after Br. Marc left, Mom passed away. It was as if she had been waiting for the anointing. Where was God’s hand? Everywhere!

Christ is in our midst.

Scripture Reading: Dt. 8:7-16; Ph 4:4-9; Mt. 6:25-34

Reflections from a Monk

Glory be to Jesus Christ! I was driving home the other evening, and since it is now hunting season in these parts, I half expected to see someone dressed in fatigues trying to pull their deer out of the woods. Now people out here, especially across the line in Vermont, are fiercely independent, and they still have the ability since colonial days to survive in their almost constant economic bad times. I said to myself, would I pass by and wave with a big smile at them or should I stop and give a helping hand. Down the road a little I did come upon several vehicles stopped to help someone out. “Much obliged,” I’m sure was the word of the day among these folks who depend on this for food, and who are able and willing freely to work together when needed. They’ve told me in the face of our own anxieties, “We’re all in this together here one way or th’other.”

In a very different situation, I was once standing at a church gathering and saw someone looking toward me with a huge smile. I smiled back and when I turned around, I saw behind me the one the smile was really meant for. — I was grateful at least it was not a frown.

Friendliness and heartfelt gratitude are not just a matter of social etiquette like saying thanks. They connect us again and again with the freshness of life and even a slight inner thrill of joy in the face of an unexpected grace. On occasion we might thank God for small favors or large, and bless the Lord for this particular reality.

Yet at times fate leads us to unhappy or even horrible situations over which we have no control. St. Paul was in chains in a Roman dungeon awaiting for either release or execution. Yet he writes such great words of encouragement to the Philippians. He says his veiled goodbye’s with the phrase “Always rejoice in the Lord! And I repeat, Rejoice!” This was his invocation for life more abundant, and recognition of the fruits of his missionary labors, and celebration of the life in Christ he shared with his readers. In spite of the hostilities and difficulties around and among you— he writes— rejoice for what you already have been given through me. Pursue that inner peace of Christ which nothing can dispel.

The German poet Rilke described it this way:
Between hammers endures
Our heart, as the tongue endures
Between teeth
And still remains praising.

Jesus’ life shows us the suffering he faced— though he was filled with grace and compassion— and now we can see on TV the awful plight of millions around the world both adults and children.

The modern poet Auden wrote: “Find reasons fast enough/ To face the sky and roar/ in anger and despair/ at what is going on/ demanding that it name/ whoever is to blame// the sky would only wait/ till all my breathe is gone/ and then reiterate/ as if I wasn’t there/ that singular command/ I do not understand:/ — “bless what there is, for being”/— which has to be obeyed, /for what else am I made for, /agreeing or disagreeing.”

Even someone who is obviously full of life and spark, no matter how old they are, eventually knows like St. Paul that each moment brings us closer to dying. As so many close to us have shown us, to become unafraid of dying is to become unafraid of living, and in their learning how to die they really did show us how to live.

As we celebrate the Eucharist today on this wonderful American holiday, and share the bread and the wine— the body of Christ that was broken and the blood that was shed—we do this not so much in mourning for what is not, but in celebration of what is, “for its being”. This is because the life and resurrection of the Lord brought new energies and hope into being. These become especially poignant in times of conflict or uncertainty, and in the midst of separation, illness, aging, and dying.

We, of course, are that broken body and shed blood of Christ, but our working and praying together signal our own coming resurrection. Our present economic insecurity especially reminds us of this!

We saw in the news on Tuesday how so very many more middle class Americans are destitute and filling the food bank lines. Swarms of cars are now bringing more and more people to pick over some already-harvested farm vegetable fields. Wealth does not seem to trickle down in our economy as quickly as the after-effects of greed and debt.

Today we can respond with our own liturgical impulse to count our blessings and acknowledge from whom they flow. This is not a denial of what is wrong and of our own problems. It is the discipline of blessings, as the poet Marge Piercy says: “Taste each moment, the bitter, the sour, the sweet, the salty, and be glad for what does not hurt.” I am breathing! We are together here now!

This one step of gratitude can easily move us to a different kind of generosity— to reaching out to each other and those on the edge of real need, by using our own time and talents, and our very presence, listening and helping out. What better ways to do the works of God and in the process grow in courage and confidence, peace and joy? And what a great way to celebrate Thanksgiving and prepare for Christmas!

Christ is in our midst!

The audio recordings of The 15th All-American Council of the Orthodox Church in America are available for listening. These recordings are amde available by Ancient Faith Radio. They offer newsfeeds as a convenient way to stay abreast of current developments in Orthodoxy.